Tales of a Chaotic Life.

Last time I posted I was 4 months pregnant and exhausted due to being short-staffed/overworked. Now my baby girl is exactly 1 week old today (born 7/13/22, 26 hours after being induced, almost 12 hours after my water was manually broken, and 2 hours after they decided to let me actually push) and I'm even more exhausted than I was two weeks ago, but in much better physical condition despite the stitches. I can bend over, I can sleep in whatever position I want, I can pick up more than 10 lbs, it's great!

I can't wait to introduce her to so many things. She's brand spanking new and everything is an experience for her. I am so excited to be able to introduce her to the world.

But I'm also terrified because of the changes going through the world, and terrified by what hasn't changed since I was also a cute little baby.

I've never outwardly spoken about it, but I survived multiple abduction attempts as a kid. Every single scenario they warn you about? -Hey little girl, want some candy? I've got a puppy in my van :D, want to see?, even the one with someone asking for directions and hey, can you take us there?- All of them happened to me as a kid. Someone tried to pick up my sister at our mailbox and my mom got a ticket for it because she was on the phone and not outside (no, seriously).

Stranger abductions are rare, but not if you're an adorable blonde haired, blue-eyed girl. People get gross, and I only see that now that I am older. My little girl inherited my hair and eyes. At least it looks like, but considering he was blonde as a child and I am blonde (sandy, but still blonde), her hair will likely stay. Every member of our direct lineage is blue-eyed, so the only real question is if she gets my green-gray-yellow w/central heterochromia or his boring blue.

It obviously worries me, but it worries me less than it did my mother (75% of the attempts I escaped from happened on military bases). I live in a community that I know just about everyone and the threat to my child is offset by the fact that if it happens, there is a larger amount of people who would fuck them up just for looking at her the wrong way.

But still, with everything that has gone wrong in the world, I am so worried about her future.

With all the shit that's been going down in my life, I kind of forgot that I had my AO3 and FF.N emails filtered to a different folder so I didn't have to organize it myself later. Considering that I haven't been active in 2 years, there was a fair amount. If any of you are reading this, sorry about that <3. I'd say I'll do better, but I will forget tomorrow.

( Who cares? )

I am really bad at the doing things daily thing (oops).

But progress has been made writing-wise. New folder, everything I should need moved in aside from a couple things I am working on.

[Here is my reminder that Tale of Tea needs to be added to both lists]

Also a couple new fics have their notes written and therefore are set up to be worked on in the near future.

I somehow got goaded into updated the Hojo fic [I don't know how, the reviewer just used the right words].

:/

I am apparently really bad at this. Not that that's ever stopped me from doing anything before, but I think it has something to do with the fact that livejournal is dead aside from a few corners that are resolutely sticking it out, dreamwidth never really caught on with my friends, and I absolutely refuse to move to tumblr -for now, that might change-.

I think I'm just going to go back to writing short, silly fics here instead of saying anything useful.

I am realllllly bad at this.

( Blargh )

Ok, so I kind of failed for a couple days, but it's been a bad week. It's been cold, rainy and have I mentioned that I absolutely abhor the winter season? Because I do. Either snow or don't bother at all. -Cue disgruntled muttering and swearing at the sky-.

( And now I babble about writing. )

Wellllll I fell off the face of the earth again. It happens, a lot in my case. But I'm trying to get better and that starts by doing something daily until it becomes a habit and that means writing and actually posting it where people other than my close friends will see it.

It's been a while since I've done that and I think I've finally conquered the problems that have been making life difficult. Or rather, I've wrestled with them until they maybe won't bother me quite as much and I really think that posting out in the world will make it better.

Or make me a ball of anxiety.

Either way, I think it's a step forward, yes?

If you haven't already, take a look at this post and see what I'm writing for the month of December -if I've talked to you recently, chances are, you're on it-. Lots of things to do this year, hopefully since I started earlier, I'll be able to finish them all.

Also, wth do I not have a 'fic' tag? That would make it so much easier. *headdesks* Oh wait, I forgot, why make it easy to find what I'm looking for? I always have to do things the hard way *mutters*.

Obviously, I'm procrastinating, even though I have an interesting series waiting to be read, that I'm not going to allow myself to touch until I have finished this project -Thank you stargazer_abeo.

Anyway, Christmas drabble list is up <3, Chaos is working, and Chaos is procrastinating. Go me!

Mom and lil'Sis were in a car accident yesterday, they're ok, only scratches and bruises, but... Still scary, the car is completely totalled, some little teenager was involved and if that wasn't enough...

I sprained my ankle chasing after a moth, specifically, jumping after a moth, but whatever I did was painful enough to make me not want to walk anywhere for a while...

*headdesks*

Happy Birthday to chibienvychan, may you have many more -and may they all be good, failing that, at least decent-.

Spent my day doing pre-Fourth of July celebration with friends. Played with fireworks, chased each other around the yard with waterguns, killed a lot of zombies. Twas lots of fun...

'cept... One of them is worrying me greatly, she needs to relax and stop thinking about such things. If you think you are an outcast, people will treat you as such. Don't worry about it when you are with your friends, just enjoy yourself. Silly girl *sighs*.