chaos_silk: (Default)
Chaos ([personal profile] chaos_silk) wrote2017-01-31 12:35 pm
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Long time no see <3.

Been a while yes, I know that only a few people (I love you Mandi <3) keep up with this still, but I'd like to take the time to talk this out. If you're reading this, know that I appreciate you very much, even if I never hear from you <3.

I was fully intending to finish my December Drabbles last year, but unfortunately my grandmother died on the 3rd of December and we're all still reeling from it. I got married on October 7th, and I have been working at the same job since April 2016.

I know I have been a flake and haven't been writing as much as I would like. But let's be honest, I haven't been writing as much as I used to since '09. I'd really like to get myself back on schedule and just start doing stuff in fandom again. (I find Tumblr both useful and terrifying, I hate the thought of my writing being available and seen by everyone and not just those within my community, so I will stay here on dreamwidth, also crossposted to Livejournal because the option is there.)

I flipped through my ancient livejournal today (which is what sparked this), and I could plainly see how happy writing and interacting with other fans made me back then. Alas, I have lost contact with about half of them and have been too terrified to even speak to the others (except for two of my very dear friends, one of whom I don't talk with half as much as I should and the other I talk to daily). I want that back again. (And also, it's been very interesting to see how I have progressed as a writer, back in the day 100 words was challenging, now if I hit less than a thousand on any serious fic I consider myself lucky).

It's begun a chore to write, not because I don't love it, but because I churn out so many words at once my fingers can barely keep up. I'm used to always editing as I write, but when working with that many words and when I keep hitting contradictions (I never used to care). Ugh, it sometimes feels like I am beating my head against a wall.

That said, I am getting my shit together and posting a currently working on list and a new sticky post (since the old one's date passed a long time ago).

Thanks for sticking with me, hopefully my dumb butt can keep this a daily thing. /puts a reminder in her apps.